You know what time it is, figuratively not literally. The decision has to be made and has to be followed through, from now. It is time to take your life into your own hands and mould it, time to stop being a victim and be a victor. Time for the lifestyle change that will lead to your weight loss.
The reason you are writing this is because you believe you have not gained the momentum and strong desire necessary to propel you into action and to sustain the pace for the ongoing fitness challenge in which you are a participant. The thing is you do not have the time or the opportunity to delay this any longer. You are finally at your lowest, physically, spiritually, psychologically, financially- every way possible. You are questioning your situation; why am I always the one in need among my friends? Why do things always happen to me? How did I get here? How can I get out of here?
The physical situation summed up is this: you have been out of a job for approximately 4 months now because you walked out on your previous job after all the abuse you were receiving, you are bankrupt and in debt to the tune of about 130000 naira and cannot afford your daughter’s fees or even feeding, you have to leave your accommodation in 3 or so months thanks to a spat with your landlady, and the way it is looking, you may be on your way back to Benin. In relation to your weight, because of your many issues you began medicating with food, so much so that you’ve blown up to a size 18 ( and counting), and 99 kg! Coca-cola and dairy milk chocolates are your poison of choice. Rice is your waterloo. I found myself searching my mum's bag for 60 naira to buy a bottke of coke today! As a result few of your clothes fit you, and you literally hate your reflection in the mirror. You cannot wear heels for even an hour anymore and even the ones that fit are giving way due to your weight. mo
Psychologically you hate everything about yourself and your situation right now. For the past 2 months or so you have refused to leave your house primarily because of how you believe you look. You are confused as to what else to do about your situation because you seem to have tried everything, you were even contemplating suicide until a few days ago...
But lately you have been reading Nelly Agbogu’s blog and you picked up an old O magazine and you've re-learned a few life truths:
God starts where your strength stops.
You are not the product of your circumstances. You are a composite of all the things you believe, and all the places you believe you can go...You can step out of your history and create a new day for yourself...Even if every bad thing that can happen to you, does. - Oprah
My point with all of this is that I will, I must, I have decided to move forward. From today, I am making a pledge to myself to cut out the crap. I will start by taking out the unnecessary excesses- sugar (coke, chocs, ice cream, biscuits, bread, cake, etc.) I mindfully drank my last bottle of coke today. I will continue by reducing portions of the otherwise healthy foods and cutting out late snacking. I will also do my best to attend the gym assigned to us by the fitness challenge.
I am not good at maintaining long-term goals so I am going to give you all the personal reasons we need to do this:
Dont be your dad to your daughter
Remember who you were, how you were
Bi did it
Nosayaba did it
Nelly did it
The ex-work bosses that think you cant be anything
The exes that could swear you couldnt
Irish Jos who helped you sabotage
For the future you want
Lord, help me as I commit to being me. In your presence I make this pledge today to give myself the healthy nutrition I need, to eliminate the unhealthy choices and to push my body to burn the fat through exercise. Please help me LOrd